updated 2mo ago
1,000 character takes!
All of my takes that reach the maximum of 1,000 characters. Sometimes, I'm just so locked in I don't even realize it.
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7.8
@jacksauer2
3mo
NBA • Reg. Season03/23/2026
Tough loss for the Celtics in this one. Tatum continues to struggle to find his groove from three, going 2 for 7 from beyond the arc in this one. Brown had another great game on a day Tatum didn't putting up 29. Now, Tatum didn't have a great day, but 16 points and 11 rebounds isn't horrible. I don't know what got into him but he has been having the best rebounding of his career since he got back from his injury. Seems like nearly every game he's putting up a double double. Speaking of double double, Neemias Queta didn't get one today-not because he feel short on rebounds, but because he fell short on points. But man Queta has been a stud this year on the glass.
What really sucks is that we lost this game when the T-Wolves didn't have Anthony Edwards. When the opponent's best player is out, you've got to take advantage of that. And the Celtics didn't. Just a tough performance, they've got a couple off days then they will attempt to redeem themselves against the Thunder, won't be easy.
8.3
@jacksauer2
3mo
MLB • Preseason03/24/2026
Checked the Rockies box score to talk about who did well, but man is that thing thin. I only knew half the players on there, which considering the amount of useless baseball knowledge I have is surprisingly low. Chase Dollander pitched well, 3.2 inn only allowing a run. Apparently the Rockies are going to have him start the year in the bullpen, which makes absolutely no sense to me. He's supposed to be your future ace and the guy to relieve Kyle Freeland from his 73rd Opening Day start in a row, but they're choosing not to have him pitch in the rotation and develop there? At that point, send him down to Triple A, at least there he can start games which will develop him better. Just another example of this Rockies franchise being absolutely incompetent, which is why they went 43-119 last year, which is tied for the least amount of wins in a 162 game season. And they didn't improve at all this winter, all they did was get rid of Warming Bernabel, one of their only young talents. Just sad
3.3
@jacksauer2
3mo
NHL • Reg. Season03/24/2026
Genuinely fucking embarrasing. This team pisses me off so much. You decide to pllay Jeremy Swayman in net against the worse team in the back to back, thinking you'll secure a "free" 2 points, and it backfires right in their fucking face. Now Korpisalo, a 3.2 GAA goalie, has to play against Buffalo, the hottest team in the NHL. The way this team is playing right now they genuinely might lose 8-2.
Nikita Zadorov: "We were flat. We were just flat. Against the Toronto Maple Leafs, that's on us"
But it wasn't just this game. They've been flat since the Olympic Break. It's gotten to a point where I genuinely expect them to lose every game. Like damn. It's fucking pathetic at this point. Luckily the Red Wings and Islanders both lost and the Bruins stay atop the East Wild Card. This team was 2-7-4 since the Olympic break and you just lost to them with your good goalie in net. Embarrassing loss, this team really has to get their shit together because they can't go into the playoffs like this.
4.4
@jacksauer2
3mo
MLB • Reg. Season03/27/2026
predicting every teams record
dbacks 81-81
LA 110-52
i keep forgetting Nolan Arenado is a D-Back now, but it was a forgettable debut for him going a mere 1-3. Not bad of course, i mean if he hit .333 all year he'd probably win MVP-but we'll see when he starts making a huge impact. The Diamondbacks need Zac Gallen to return to his Cy Young form if they want a chance to make the playoffs, especially surrounding the uncertainty of Corbin Burnes return, but he didn't look like that today, pitching 4 innings and allowing 4 runs while only striking out 2. On the winning end of debuts, Tucker went 1-4, drove in a run on his only hit and later scored. Yamamoto with a solid start to his season I expect him to be in CY talks all year long, but everyone is talking about Ohtani i really don't think he's the pitcher everyone thinks he is. Yamamoto is the Dodgers ace. Tanner Scott had a tough year last year with a 4.74 ERA and 10 blown saves, hoping to bounce back this year and started it off well.
8.6
@jacksauer2
3mo
CFB • Week 409/21/2025
Rating Random Games Anyone Gives Me Part 10:
This was certainly a game in football history. ULM led 24-7 at half and 31-7 in the third. Then UTEP scored 18 straight. They made it a one score game with 2:35 left. But ULM held on.
How this game affected college football history:
While ULM won this game, and the next, neither were very convincing. They then struggled the rest of the season, losing their final 8 games. One of those was a 42-7 loss to Northwestern. Northwestern then used that momentum from beating ULM to pull off a shocking upset over Penn State. But what if ULM had convincingly won this game without a late game collapse? Maybe they take that momentum into Northwestern, beat them, and then Northwestern loses to Penn State. Then maybe Penn State's only loss is to Oregon. They go 11-1. Including a win over Ohio State and Indiana. They get a Big 10 championship berth. They win that. All of a sudden, they're the #1 team in the College Football Playoff. Absolute cinema.
9.2
@jacksauer2
3mo
MLB • Reg. Season03/28/2026
JONATHAN DAVID WETHERHOLT HAS ARRIVED!!!! Yes, Jonathan David. Feels like it should be JD Wetherholt. But putting all that aside, it has been a great opening series for rookies! McGonigle with 5 RBIs in his first two games, DeLauter with 2 homers on Opening Day, and now JJ (JD) Wetherholt walks this game off in extra innings for St. Louis. Ketel Marte has firmly held his grasp on the best second baseman in baseball for a few years now, but he better be shaking in his boots because Wetherholt is coming for him. Wetherholt, along with Masyn Winn, have the opportunity to create a great middle infield as a foundation for the Cardinals franchise for years to come.
Also, great job by Michael McGreevy. 6 no hit innings for STL but then he gets taken out for the 7th and his no hitter is immediately ruined. McGreevy is only 25- he’s got potential to be a staple in the Cardinals rotation for years to come. STL doesnt have much hope this year, but they’ve got a lot of hope for the future years.
0.7
@jacksauer2
3mo
MLB • Reg. Season03/31/2026
Wow this Red Sox offense is embarrassing. Wilyer Abreu with an RBI, and yet again he’s the only player that can do anything. Suarez and Oviedo both looked very mediocre in their Red Sox debut, allowing 4 runs each. Roman Anthony with another tough game of 0-4. Absolutely zero production from the offense aside from Abreu. This team has to figure their shit out. I know it’s early, but this offense is really scaring me. They got way worse this offseason, losing Alex Bregman. Craig Breslow is genuinely the most incompetent human in all of sports. Starts off by signing Bregman without informing Devers he will have to move positions- then trying to force the best HITTER on the team to move FIELDING positions, pissing him off. Breslow and Henry then get butthurt and decide to trade him for a pile of literal dogshit. And then they can’t even give Bregman a competitive offer in the offseason and he leaves. Genuinely fucking horrendous. How the fuck do you as an MLB GM let that fucking happen???
6.6
@jacksauer2
3mo
NFL • Playoffs01/18/2026
Such a good defensive showing for the Pats, honestly their entire playoff run they played great defense and that's what gave me hope we'd beat the Seahawks in the Super Bowl, and to be fair, like in the rest of the playoffs, the defense played well while the offense struggled. CJ Stroud got absolutely exposed in this game, he's my favorite non-Patriots player and the texans are my second favorite team so I hope Stroud bounces back next year and can return to his rookie season form. Nonetheless, the thing both QBs in this game have done are incredibly impressive. CJ Stroud won a Rookie of the Year and has won a playoff game in all 3 seasons of his career. And of course Drake Maye, I mean what else can you say on that season. It was absolutely incredible. While he didn't get the MVP he was of course deservedly in the conversation, and I'm so excited to see what he can do this upcoming season hopefully with AJ Brown to throw to as well as a more developed Kayshon Boutte and Kyle Williams.
7.9
@jacksauer2
3mo
CBB • FNL04/07/2026
While the score of this game didn't quite reflect how close it really was, it was still a great game. However, the entire game UConn just seemed outmatched and too small. I love hating on Elliott Cadeau but man he played great in this one, Morez Johnson had a double double, Yaxel Lendeborg (best player in the nation btw) put up 13, everyone contributed. And that's what makes this team so great. Michigan was the most complete team in all of college basketball this year and they proved it in the National Championship at the highest stage. This was their only game this tournament within 12 points.
But on the negative side, it hurts me to see Silas Demary lose like this. He got hurt right before the tournament and really just wasn't himself at all during the tournament. While normally I hate a guy for transferring away from Georgia, he brought the program to new heights. Brought us to our first tourney appearance in my experience of watching college basketball. I love you Silas Demary ❤️
7.6
@jacksauer2
3mo
MLB • Reg. Season04/06/2026
The Trop is back! It was a great day in St. Pete's as Tropicana Field has returned. After being destroyed by a hurricane just a couple years ago, it has been rebuilt and brought back to life.
Now, on the baseball aspect of this game, Junior Caminero continues to be an absolute stud. He hit 45 home runs last year and I think he'll have 40+ again this year. And Jonathan Aranda and Cedric Mullins, both contact guys, but they go yard in this one, obviously if they're going to be big pieces in the lineup you want to see those flashes of power and getting home runs every once in a while- but stick to their identities of being able to hit for average rather than trying to go for the moon.
For the Cubs, of course Matt Shaw had a tough rookie season, but they get him in the lineup today and he did not disappoint, going yard for the Cubs in their only spark of offense. He has now hit a home run on back to back days, and while he isn't quite an everyday guy, I think he's a stud and will be soon
5.1
@jacksauer2
3mo
CBB • Reg. Season11/04/2025
Rating Random Games Anyone Gives Me Part 15:
Yes, of course I can tell you how this game affected sports history. This certainly wasn't Grand Canyon's only win this season, nor was it their most impressive. Lets travel to later in the season, specifically to January 17th. They came into a game against #23 Utah State. They were coming off a loss. But they won that game. But would that have happened if they lose this game? Of course they wouldn't have. Because if they lost this game, they wouldn't have carried its momentum into their next games to play close against St Louis and beat Big 12 Utah. Imagine they lost all those games, and maybe a couple others. Instead of ending 2025 8-4, they end it 4-8. They are dejected. They feel like the seasons over, theres no purpose. Now Utah State wins on the 17th, and maybe instead of being a 9 seed in March Madness, they're a 7 seed. Maybe they're the ones facing 10 seed Missouri. What if Missouri wins, takes down Purdue, Texas, and even Arizona?
8.7
@jacksauer2
3mo
MLB • Reg. Season05/06/1998
I mean, just one of the greatest pitching performances ever. Kerry Wood. 20 strikeouts. Even rarer than a perfect game. While he wasn't the first, his was certainly the most memorable, even as a Red Sox fan when Clemens did it for us for the first one ever.
People act like Kerry Wood was just a one-hit wonder, had this one good game but otherwise was a no name, which couldn't be further from the truth. While he wasn't a superstar, he was a guy who consistently gave the Cubs sub-4 ERA pitching 6 of the 9 years he was on the team, and was never above 4.23 except for one year. But I think we get caught up too much in ERA and what it really means. If a pitcher has a 4 ERA, that means they allowed 4 runs every 9 innings. Imagine he pitched a complete game every single game of the season and allowed 4 runs every time. If you can't build a lineup good enough to make the playoffs with that, you are a bad baseball team. Sure, a 4 ERA pitcher isn't a superstar, but he's not as bad as you think
9.7
@jacksauer2
3mo
CFB • Week 509/28/2025
Rating Random Games Anyone Gives Me Part 20:
This was uhhhh certainly something. Definitely would've been a fun one to watch, I love high scoring games like this. A 2 overtime thriller that ended in a Ragin Cajuns win.
Now, of course this game affected CFB history. If Marshall had won this game, they would've been on a 5 game winning streak headed into Coastal Carolina. While that's not a big game, it was the one after. Marshall vs James Madison. Every game mattered for James Madison. If Marshall won that game, (which they of course would've had they won this overtime thriller. why? because I said so) JMU would not be headed to the playoffs, and Duke would've taken their spot. Imagine what could've happened between Duke and Oregon. What if Darian Mensah went for 500 yards and 7 TDs? It would've also made for a VERY interesting matchup considering the fact that Mensah's sister plays soccer at Oregon. Who would she be rooting for? And what if who she was rooting for decided the winner?
5.8
@jacksauer2
2mo
NBA • R104/20/2026 • G2
The Cavaliers are just the better team, and they've shown it throughout this series. And I think its what we all expected going into the series. The Raptors have a good amount of talent, Scottie Barnes is an absolute dawg, but the Cavaliers just have more talent. Donovan Mitchell leading the team alongside James Harden, and Evan Mobley and Jarrett Allen down low, its hard to find holes in this Cavaliers team. And I honestly think they'd be better off if they had kept Darius Garland not just in the future but right now. Him and Mitchell seemed to work well together, despite the heavy defensive concerns. But I don't understand how trading Garland for James Harden of all people solves that. He's a traffic cone on defense in the playoffs! I think they'd have a better chance to go far with Garland instead of Harden, but what do I know? They will lose to the Celtics in the Eastern Conference Finals no matter who their point guard is. Celtics are winning the finals and no one's stopping them.
10
@jacksauer2
2mo
NHL • R104/20/2026
My Live reaction from 7 minutes left on first OT:
Andersen has been making some incredible saves so far. OHHHHH AND THE 6 ON 5 WITH THE DELAYED PENALTY AND JANKOWSKI DRILLS IT! ON THE REBOUND WHAT A SHOT TO TAKE GAME 2 AND A 2-0 SERIES LEAD FOR CAROLINA!
Man Carolina is good, they just showed they can take down teams in clutch situatio-WAIT HOLD THE FUCK ON ITS OFFSIDES! NO GOAL! ARE YOU SERIOUS? BUT IT’S A PENALTY SHOT! Why does he get the penalty shot tho? Its offsides, he shouldn’t have been in position to take the shot anyway. Seems like bs to me idk the rules tho.
AND BANG THAT’S MY BRUINS LEGEND LINUS ULLMARK GREAT SAVE! To double ot we go. I was hoping to go to bed by 11 but clearly these guys don’t care about my sleep schedule smh
Ullmark’s glove has been immaculate, if you’re gonna shoot it at his glove might as well skate right to the faceoff circle
WAIT WHAT? THAT DIDN’T GO IN!? AMADIO’S SHOT LOOKED IN FOR SURE BUT NO
AND HE SCORES!!! MARTINOOK GETS HIS REVENGE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
8.4
@jacksauer2
2mo
NHL • R104/21/2026
Fuck yeah. Arvdog gets the scoring on early, then Geekie getting me GEEKED! Offense was so good we drove out Luukkonen early in the third. Swayman was an absolute brick wall for the first 53 minutes, but almost collapsed again in the final 7. Two goals for Buffalo to give me a heart attack, thought we were about to choke it even worse this time. He’s gotta keep this up if we want to win this series. Huge win on the road to recover from Sunday’s collapse and take the home ice advantage. Great to see the boys getting physical, Kastelic fighting. Seemed like every whistle today there was pushing and shoving and finally all accumulated early in the third.
Despite that, Swayman continues to show his inability to close games. So lucky we had gotten 4 goals this game because he allowed another 2 by him late. Before the 52 minute mark this series, he has allowed 0 goals. He’s allowed 5 after that mark. Really worrying me right now.
But for tonight, forget those concerns. What a win. LETS GO!!!
7.6
@jacksauer2
2mo
MLB • Reg. Season05/03/2026
This was a win for Minnesota, but it didn't feel like it. Joe Ryan left the game after two batters with an elbow injury, I hope he's okay, and of course Twins fans do too. I'm still upset we didn't go out to try and trade for Joe Ryan at last trade deadline. He was right there for us, the Twins sucked, we didn't have to give up more than we could handle. Maybe actually trade Jhostynxon Garcia for someone good instead of Johan Oviedo. Having Ryan would've made such a big difference, especially in that Wild Card series against the Yankees, we would've had a much better chance to win with Ryan on the mound than an inexperienced Connelly Early. The fact that Craig Breslow was still employed by the Boston Red Sox after last season is absolute blasphemy. The fact that he made it through the coaching staff's clean house is even worse. He needs to be gone, and in an ideal world that will never happen, John Henry will sell the team and we'll get an owner who will actually SPEND SOME MONEY!!!!!!
4.5
@jacksauer2
2mo
MLB • Reg. Season05/03/2026
Yikes the Giants offense is pitiful. I mean, its even worse than the Red Sox offense. That's when you know it's bad. Like really bad. Like rock bottom bad. Like they can only go up from here bad. No matter how horrendous Rafael Devers is on the Giants, I'll never forgive Breslow and Henry for trading Rafael Devers. They sign Bregman without telling Raffy and then spring it on him to move positions when he didn't want to, then he gives us a big f*ck you and starts playing first base for the Giants. And now, Bregman's gone too and our third baseman is f*cking Caleb Durbin. The management and ownership of this team is among the worst in baseball. Henry refuses to spend any money on free agents and then extends a guy in house for 300 million and decides no I don't want to pay this and trades away Devers. It was nothing more than a salary dump. A salary dump of a 35 homer per year hitter. Because this team can't be competent and know how to spend their money. F*ck John Henry. Sell the team.
4.0
@jacksauer2
2mo
MLS • Reg. Season05/10/2026
Chipmunks are small rodents that play a surprising role in the agricultural regions of China, especially in areas where rice is a major crop. Although they are often viewed as harmless forest animals, chipmunks can become pests when they enter rice fields in search of food. They dig burrows near farms and feed on rice seeds and young plants, which can reduce crop yields for farmers. In some regions, large chipmunk populations may damage irrigation systems by tunneling through soil banks that hold water in rice paddies. Since rice requires carefully controlled flooding, even small disruptions can affect production. However, chipmunks also contribute positively to the environment by spreading seeds and helping maintain biodiversity. Chinese farmers and agricultural scientists work to balance wildlife protection with crop security by using safe pest control methods and improved farming techniques. Overall, chipmunks have both direct and indirect effects on the production of rice in China.
9.3
@jacksauer2
2mo
MLB • Reg. Season05/14/2026
Another great game between 2 AL West rivals. Astros, up 3-2 had a chance to bust the game wide open with Paredes up with the bases loaded and 2 outs in the bottom of the 8th, but he hit a week popup on the infield, keeping hope alive for Seattle. And they took full advantage. With 2 outs and runners on 2nd and 1st, JP Crawford with an elite hustle play to beat out an infield single. I could sit down anywhere and watch nothing but hard hustled infield singles for hours on end and still be entertained. Infield singles are amazing. And then the best situation in baseball. Full count. 2 outs. Bases loaded. 1 run game. And Julio Rodriguez worked a walk to tie the ballgame. Now it was the Mariners with a chance to bust the game wide open with 2 outs and bases loaded, and Josh Naylor was oh so close to legging out another infield single, but was barely out. And in the bottom of the 10th, Zach Cole snuck one through. Ballgame. So much more I want to say but I’m stuck to a 1000 character limit.